Half Full

Most of my close friends have come to see me as a glass half full kind of girl. I try to look at things from many sides and usually with a shrug of the shoulder I’ll use the newest adage, “Whatever”. I used to hate it when my kids would say whatever. Maybe it was because when they used it the word was followed by a huge sigh, a shake of the head, and a roll of the eyes. You know, you’ve seen it. But my whatever is more along the lines of, "whatever, it is what it is”. My sister-in-law has even jumped aboard the, “It is what it is,” wagon. There are some things in life you can’t change.

These are the times when no matter what you do the circumstances won’t change so it’s up to you to accept the situation and move on.

· A family member with whom you will never get along.

· A broken relationship with no hope of reconciliation.

· The scratched furniture from the overzealous game of spoons played one rainy afternoon.

· A wrecked car, a broken window, a flat tire.

Some say that this might be a cop out, an easy way to move on and put things behind you. But life is just too damn short to worry and struggle with things you have no control over. “Whatever, it is what it is,” puts everything in perspective and keeps the mid life ulcers at bay. SO I say, “Whatever,” shrug shrug, eye roll eye roll, and a deep, deep sigh.

How’s That Working For You?

I started a new diet today. I broke down and went to a nutritionist. First off because we are, um-hum, over fifty, the body’s I understand the bodies metabolism has completely changed. Our intake is considerably less and the types of food we now require also needs to be somewhat modified. So I sit in the chair across from the five foot two, 102 pound nutritionist who is so emaciated that she may have just returned from a year in a third world country. Imagine my amazement when she told me I don’t eat enough, of the right kind of foods. After years of watching friends and family diet by cutting out food, it is now brought to my attention that I need to add food.

My daily eating schedule is like this.

7:30- 8:00 am - cup of coffee. (Most times I drink the whole cup, but many times one of the other family member’s walks up to me with a half empty mug and asks, “Do you know where I found this? It’s like a game of Where’s Waldo.)

Noon – I fix husband lunch salad (Yeah he’s one of those) and I nibble on a couple slices of deli turkey.

3:00 – grab a cookie or protein bar, sometimes five or six crackers

5:30 – dinner. Consists of meat (beef, chicken or pork) potato, (Or potatoe, you’re my age you know what I’m talking about) rice or couscous and a veggie. Sometimes I have from five to sixteen grain wheat sourdough bread. (The more grains the better, right?)

My husband snacks every night so if I look over and think a bite to eat might be good, I’ll grab a handful of pretzels or nuts.

So by my calculation I should weigh around 50 pounds less than I do. But, “No” she tells me. I’ve screwed up my metabolism big time.

“And do you know what that means?” I must have looked confused because she brought out a picture of the human body and started pointing out parts of the body as if I were a two-year-old.

“I know how the body works. But if I don’t eat how come I gain weight?”

“Okay, let me see if I can make you understand.” Exasperated sigh followed by eye roll. (I get this from my husband and kids but geez; I’m paying good bucks for this “meeting”).

“You need to fuel your body throughout the day, starting with a good breakfast and keep feeding the body small bits of fuel throughout the day. That way your body is constantly receiving good energy and burning it at the same time. When you don’t eat, everything slows down because your system has to use the stored fuel. (Pause here for the confused look to leave my face.)

“Just little bits throughout the day. Grab some carrots. A handful of nuts. Half an apple. Just keep fueling the body and we’ll change that metabolism in no time.”

She hands me a schedule of things to eat at specific times. I smile. I can do this.

I go to the grocery and pick up the healthy snacks. I get home and slice an apple and grab a small handful of almonds and head to the desk to get some writing done. The phone rings.

“This is Dr. Simmons office. We just got information from your insurance company and they don’t cover the visit. I can take your credit card number over the phone.”

I grab my card. “How much?”

“Today’s visit will be a hundred and seventy five dollars. The lab where you got the blood work will bill you separately.”

I give them the information and as I hang up the phone I think to myself, a hundred at the grocery for HEALTHY snacks, probably a hundred and fifty for blood work, and the Doctors bill. Damn, this being healthy stuff is expensive.