Monday, February 6, 2012

Better This Time Around

This social media thing has me perplexed. I mean, I am such a people pleaser that almost anyone who “friends” me is accepted into my list. But here’s the thing. Some of the people that reach out to me are from high school. A time when we were all a little anxious, dealing with all the crazy mixed up feelings and attitudes that come with being a teenager. The last thing I want is for someone from my past to think that I am that same person.

When I think of my high school years I see a girl that never felt she measured up. That was always looking for a way to fit in. I had friends. I joined clubs. But there was always a part of me that felt like an outsider. Until I met Kirk my junior year, I never really felt like I was a part of anything special.

My Mother doesn’t understand. She loved high school. She was smart and she was popular. She is still in close contact with many of the girls with which she graduated. In fact when she comes to Florida we take a couple days to head to the other coast to visit her lifelong friend Rosie. They have been friends for over 70 years.

I try to tell her that when you graduate with 50 people, it’s much different then graduating with 500. We were lucky we all didn’t get a little lost in the crowd.

Now with facebook come all these faces from the past. I love catching up with people whose lives touched mine during those days gone by. I love seeing the people they’ve become and share in the joy as their families grow. (We’re mostly grandparents now.)

SO- here’s the question; What about the ones that hurt you? The ones that made you feel like you were less of a person? The ones that betrayed your friendship and caused you pain?

Do you assume that like yourself they have moved on, becoming a different person in their later years? Do you accept that social networking is just that and expanding your friendships moves you on to a better place?

I moved away from my small town when I was 21. I settled in Florida and kept in touch with only five of my friends from High School. We watched and grew together, seeing each other through the ups and downs, the good times and bad. But with social networking you’re in contact with a person for perhaps the first time in 35 years. Sometimes it’s like you’ve been stuck in a time warp and you are thrown back to that time, with all the insecurities included.

So let’s all give each other the benefit of the doubt and assume the crazy, self involved teenagers have turned out as caring, considerate adults, just trying to get by.

I will if you will…


  1. YEP! I SOOOOO AGREE! I've befriended many that I'm not sure I even remember, much less know if they hurt me in one way or another! LOL! But I've recently lost a friend that I'd friended from back in the day, that seemed to still want the games of 37 years ago. I think even as adults, we have to still watch our backs!

  2. Well put Wendy, I believe you've captured the feelings of a majority of us who graduated in the midst of 500 others. I had "friends" in all the clics but never really anyone close due to family and personal events during those years. I really enjoy being able to look in on those I admired way back then, but do I expect any of them to have any real insight into the happenings of my life in the 40 some years since graduation? No; not really, but I am glad to bring any of them up to date if they inquire. I figure if there is any interest now, there must have been then but circumstances or teenage angst prevented the contact. High school wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience of my life, but most of that was due to something else besides high school. I enjoy your musings and am very pleased about how you've "turned out" as well as happy you've chosen to accept me as a friend now even though we weren't remotely close back then.